Eschewing the Real
This is one of those posts that comes along every once in awhile (though, less often than in years past) when I really, really wish my mom didn't read all my blogs (or at least heeded my warnings to NOT read). Anywho... Here we go.
We're (Well, mostly I am) going to talk about women. Now, we all know (maybe it's just my longer term readers) that I never name names. Oh, you can text me, email me, DM me, PM me, use whatever the going concern happens to be for private contacting of others and ask but I'm not telling. Regarding women and blogs, I have a don't tell, don't ask, I'm not f***ing telling policy. Suffice it to say, I know who I'm referring to and absolutely no one else needs to know. Trust that it's not pertinent to the story. If it was (or if it ever is), I'll put her name in all CAPS....until then read for content, not for gossip.
"I much prefer my women and my relationships to be either fictional or imaginary." ~ Stacee Ann Harris
"I probably need a local, more realistically accessible woman to crush on..." ~ Yep...same
Both of these thoughts, musings, or what-have-yous have come out of my brain recently. On more than one occasion. I've thought of telling others - select others - but in the end I always decided to keep it to myself. Until now....I guess.
Because it's weird. I'm weird. The easy explanation? I have no desire to date in the real world. A friend asked me recently if I'd bought the bike I'd planned to buy. I'd sent her and my sister pictures; I test rode it and loved it. I had every intention. Then I didn't. For several reasons - (1) I don't need another hobby when I already have too many that I don't have time for and (2) I'm broke and unwilling to sacrifice a penny out of my travel savings account for something that won't take me farther than my legs can pedal (unless it's Las Vegas Aces season tickets...). Why did I relate that story? Because the same goes for a girlfriend (Let's be clear - dating in the real world leads to a girlfriend). I don't need another expensive, time-consuming hobby. Maybe I'll meet a rich woman who wouldn't demand any of my time? If my previous experience is any indication, this is NOT going to happen.....EVER.
So, I've decided to eschew the real for the fictional and the imaginary. And, look, I'm not complaining. I've been living this way for a long time. My first rodeo (i.e. "straight girl crush") was more than twenty years ago. I write romance novels. I've had girlfriends, but when all is said and done and the dust settles, I'm much happier as I am now - 100% in my own head. It's safer emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and financially. Yes, it's odd.......but I'm good with it. No one else has to be. And really, how many people are with someone just because they fear being alone? No fear here. I am my favorite person in the entire world and there is no one I would rather spend time with.
What's the problem then? I still require a little something in my life and I moved more than a thousand miles away from all of my straight girl crushes, including my former work wife. And while it was fun for awhile to continue crushing, it's become ridiculous. Part of the fun was seeing them every now and again and the anticipation that I might. None of us have travel plans so it seems more sane (if I can use that word in this context) to abandon them and search out others a little closer to home. Trouble is I haven't met anyone here who captures my imagination. At all.
I suppose I should add "Yet," but meh........ Maybe this means I should slink off into the completely fictional world and finish the damn novel I've said I would finish by the end of year or actually write one of the zillion stories floating intermittently through my head (including but not limited to a sequel or a spin-off of The Match) or start something completely new. Historically, straight girl crushes leave little imagination to spare for romance writing (They do occasionally inspire - partially - written, un-shareable short stories) so I could rationalize that the lack of a real imaginary person should lead to my fourth novel.
Should... And maybe it will. Beyond a certain point, I'll get a little lonely. Sure, I like me best....but occasionally company is nice. Fictional company. It's been ages since anyone woke me up in the middle of the night INSISTING that I write something so earth-shattering that it couldn't possibly wait until the light of day or spoke to me so INCESSANTLY that I have no choice but to sit down at the computer to write if I ever want a moment's peace ever again. When I was writing Stella and Maggie (the protagonists in my novel), I didn't need any other company. They were plenty. And they became my friends.
My fictional friends. I suppose there's a whole demented psychology to all that. And I'm sure many would argue that it's not healthy. I should want friends who actually exist. I should want real romance, not some fiction of my own creation, under my own control. How I choose to live my life isn't normal. So I should be in a relationship that doesn't fulfill me, that bores me or torments me because it's the normal thing to do?
Meh..... F*** normal. Bring on the rodeo, the hot girl at the gym, the fictional romance. Oh, and happiness. Because all of the above may not make everyone happy, but they do me.
We're (Well, mostly I am) going to talk about women. Now, we all know (maybe it's just my longer term readers) that I never name names. Oh, you can text me, email me, DM me, PM me, use whatever the going concern happens to be for private contacting of others and ask but I'm not telling. Regarding women and blogs, I have a don't tell, don't ask, I'm not f***ing telling policy. Suffice it to say, I know who I'm referring to and absolutely no one else needs to know. Trust that it's not pertinent to the story. If it was (or if it ever is), I'll put her name in all CAPS....until then read for content, not for gossip.
"I much prefer my women and my relationships to be either fictional or imaginary." ~ Stacee Ann Harris
"I probably need a local, more realistically accessible woman to crush on..." ~ Yep...same
Both of these thoughts, musings, or what-have-yous have come out of my brain recently. On more than one occasion. I've thought of telling others - select others - but in the end I always decided to keep it to myself. Until now....I guess.
Because it's weird. I'm weird. The easy explanation? I have no desire to date in the real world. A friend asked me recently if I'd bought the bike I'd planned to buy. I'd sent her and my sister pictures; I test rode it and loved it. I had every intention. Then I didn't. For several reasons - (1) I don't need another hobby when I already have too many that I don't have time for and (2) I'm broke and unwilling to sacrifice a penny out of my travel savings account for something that won't take me farther than my legs can pedal (unless it's Las Vegas Aces season tickets...). Why did I relate that story? Because the same goes for a girlfriend (Let's be clear - dating in the real world leads to a girlfriend). I don't need another expensive, time-consuming hobby. Maybe I'll meet a rich woman who wouldn't demand any of my time? If my previous experience is any indication, this is NOT going to happen.....EVER.
So, I've decided to eschew the real for the fictional and the imaginary. And, look, I'm not complaining. I've been living this way for a long time. My first rodeo (i.e. "straight girl crush") was more than twenty years ago. I write romance novels. I've had girlfriends, but when all is said and done and the dust settles, I'm much happier as I am now - 100% in my own head. It's safer emotionally, spiritually, intellectually, and financially. Yes, it's odd.......but I'm good with it. No one else has to be. And really, how many people are with someone just because they fear being alone? No fear here. I am my favorite person in the entire world and there is no one I would rather spend time with.
What's the problem then? I still require a little something in my life and I moved more than a thousand miles away from all of my straight girl crushes, including my former work wife. And while it was fun for awhile to continue crushing, it's become ridiculous. Part of the fun was seeing them every now and again and the anticipation that I might. None of us have travel plans so it seems more sane (if I can use that word in this context) to abandon them and search out others a little closer to home. Trouble is I haven't met anyone here who captures my imagination. At all.
I suppose I should add "Yet," but meh........ Maybe this means I should slink off into the completely fictional world and finish the damn novel I've said I would finish by the end of year or actually write one of the zillion stories floating intermittently through my head (including but not limited to a sequel or a spin-off of The Match) or start something completely new. Historically, straight girl crushes leave little imagination to spare for romance writing (They do occasionally inspire - partially - written, un-shareable short stories) so I could rationalize that the lack of a real imaginary person should lead to my fourth novel.
Should... And maybe it will. Beyond a certain point, I'll get a little lonely. Sure, I like me best....but occasionally company is nice. Fictional company. It's been ages since anyone woke me up in the middle of the night INSISTING that I write something so earth-shattering that it couldn't possibly wait until the light of day or spoke to me so INCESSANTLY that I have no choice but to sit down at the computer to write if I ever want a moment's peace ever again. When I was writing Stella and Maggie (the protagonists in my novel), I didn't need any other company. They were plenty. And they became my friends.
My fictional friends. I suppose there's a whole demented psychology to all that. And I'm sure many would argue that it's not healthy. I should want friends who actually exist. I should want real romance, not some fiction of my own creation, under my own control. How I choose to live my life isn't normal. So I should be in a relationship that doesn't fulfill me, that bores me or torments me because it's the normal thing to do?
Meh..... F*** normal. Bring on the rodeo, the hot girl at the gym, the fictional romance. Oh, and happiness. Because all of the above may not make everyone happy, but they do me.
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