Dreaming Wide Awake

"Even though I'm wide awake my dreams are coming true..." 

[It's from my favorite Anne Murray song (She was one of my mom's go-tos during her brief country phase) and I'm sure that makes me a HUGE NERD. Won't be the first time, though...or the last.]

Dreams have taken center stage lately. They aren't all the vivid, searing, wake-you-up-keep-you-up-for-an-hour-after-get-lost-in-daydreams-the-next-day kind of dreams (not that there haven't been a few of those tossed into the mix), but they are there and they are coming true with an alarming rate of speed. We don't (yet) need an egg timer - the Gregorian calendar still works just fine - however four years ago I had no idea how far I'd come in such a short period of time. Hell, even six months ago I couldn't have predicted this. And truly, I believe to the depths of my soul, the sky's the limit.

~~

Once upon a time, my dream was to write a novel...

It doesn't take any talent to dream. Thankfully, it doesn't take much more to make those dreams come true. Perseverance and hard work. That's it. Period. All I did was keep on, keeping on and sooner than later, because I never gave up, boom! I typed "The End" on my first novel. Then I let it sit. For a really, really, really long time (Ok, like almost a year). Then I got some advice and did a total re-write. Then I let a couple trusted people read it. Then I found an editor willing to take it on. Four drafts and three and half years after I started, my novel was done, complete. And ready for the next step.

Once upon a time, my dream was to be published...

After much consideration, I decided to publish my novel independently (We can argue if this means that I'm really published, i.e. by a real publisher, or if I simply sold out to expediency and the maintenance of my sense of self-worth. I'm going to win that one, though. Search "Stacee Ann Harris" on Amazon or look in the trunk of my car and you'll see books, published books with an ISBN). Yes, I paid out the a** for editing and a professional book design, but what was I supposed to do? Sit back and weather the storm of rejection for potentially years until I found someone (i.e. a real publisher) willing to take the chance on a lesbian romance novel? Let's be honest, even though we are literally everywhere, the mainstream isn't clamouring for LGBTQ anything. Moreover, I wanted to retain creative control. I didn't want  my smart, sexy novel with cross-over potential to become 50 Shades of Lesbian Erotica. Stella and Maggie, my protagonists, deserve better than that.

With that decision behind me, my goal was to get the first part of my first novel (It's broken into three parts because research said that a $30 first novel is a tough sell, even to friends and family) out by the late spring 2018. There were unforeseen delays - an editor with mad skills who worked at a snail's pace; the dragging of my own feet as I slowly put on my parachute and prepared to take the leap; a book cover design I just wasn't sure of until I was - as are common with big projects. I settled for submitting the final, final, final draft before I left for vacation at the end of March with the hope that it would be out-out around Memorial Day. Then my publisher recommended a long lead time before the actual release date to give me and "my team"(Shockingly, I do have one) a chance to prepare and plan the launch. Oy. Ok. Advice taken. I selected Friday, June 15th more or less at random for the print release (Amazon, I guess, does whatever it wants to do with e-books. The e-book was released May 4th - more on this in a second).

We are still a few weeks out but time is flying. My publisher was right - we did need time. You can't throw a book release together overnight, not when there are parties (ok, party singular at this point) to plan, businesses to set up, sales tax permits to acquire, and Paypal card readers to buy (and figure out how to use). I can say what I want about Amazon jumping the gun, but the early response from e-book readers has shown me that people already want Part II. Add that to the list of goals - Publish Part II ASAP (I'm hoping for pre-release in mid-June and full release mid-July) and Part III by the end of the summer (I'm assuming readers will want it as well).

This means that by the end of Summer 2018, I could have THREE published novels. Take that dreams! To keep pace with these dreams, though, something is gonna have to give. I can't afford to keep publishing independently much longer (not if I want to keep pace with my dream to travel - and run - the world). I have a short story collection and a fourth novel inches from ready to go, not to mention a collection of my blogs and the umpteen other long-form fiction pieces rattling around in my brain. At some point very soon, I'm going to run out of resources. Either I'm going to have to raise some money or get discovered. Given that I have no control over "get discovered" (and I really like control), this summer, with the help of a couple enthusiastic friends, I'm going to run a Kickstarter campaign. If successful, I will be able to keep publishing and actually market and promote my work. At least for a little while. My theory is that the more I flood the market, the greater my chance of true "discovery" becomes.

Once upon a time, my dream was to make enough money from writing to quit my day job (and live in a tiny, fourth floor walk-up without an elevator in a borderline questionable neighborhood of some random European city)...

Let's be brutally honest, good connections would be pretty cool and a lot more cost effective. Having someone buy into my vision and publish and promote my work? So I could wear a few fewer hats? I'm not asking to be rich. I just want to have enough coming in that I don't have to wear an orange apron every day. I'm still working on this one, but at the rate I've made my dreams come true so far... Stay tuned.

There are many with talent, but few who will put in the work and believe.  I am the latter. Long odds don't scare me. Not in the least. Sometimes you just gotta put in the work and believe in yourself. Because until you do, no one else will.


*** Yes, I realize there is the matter of the Alicia Vikander dream from last summer. I'm still working on that one, too...***