Weird and Unapproachable (ie. Introverted)
I could have shouted the words at the top of my lungs. That, of course, would have drawn a certain amount of attention and I'm not all that into attention. I prefer to blend. Sure, it's boring but historically it keeps the accusations of 'weird' to a minimum. Not that I've never been accused. That has happened with more frequency than I'd care to admit since moving to Austin nearly three years ago. Funny because people here in Austin talk a good game about keeping things 'weird' then they go and judge that which differs slightly from their definition of 'normal'. The thought, though, has occurred to me that I am perhaps too normal for Austin and therefore deemed unconscionably weird. I've failed to embrace the true spirit of the city and I shall be made to pay the price for that seemingly small indiscretion. I need to stop with the normal normal and find a version of weird a little closer to what people around here expect and consider normal.
Still, I'm not going to go shouting anything at the top of my lungs. I learned long ago to use my inside voice and even if I have something nice to say I need to think twice before voicing it. Especially when such an outburst would be inappropriate for the setting and completely out of character for the quiet woman who while impeccably polite rarely speaks except when spoken to.
Few would recognize this introverted woman. Not friends and certainly not co-workers. To them, she is outgoing and willing to talk to anyone. They are mistaken. She prefers quiet observation and disinterest to conversation and any sort of outward showing of emotion or opinion. To those that pass her by, she is weird, closed off, stuck up, mute, unapproachable. She might even be dumb, though they will readily admit that they lack direct evidence to make such a bold assertion.
On the contrary, she is normal, open, quiet, approachable, and highly intelligent. A textbook introvert. She has perhaps learned that anything other than silence is waste of time, that people are more intent upon hearing themselves than others. That people label and judge regardless of voice or action. That a whisper only she can hear carries far more consequence than a grand statement shouted at the top of her lungs. Self-made and self-sustained, she doesn't see the need for any sort of outside interaction. If silence equals an unacceptable version of weird in her current home town, then so be it. It's who she's always been and always will be. Living amid the pretentiously weird in Austin isn't going to change that fact.
So, no... I don't think I'll be shouting anything any time soon. It's just not my style. Closer to the vest, that's me. Introverted. My inside voice may shout it over and over, but not a peep will be heard in the real world. I have and respect boundaries. I know people will think what they will, but I'd rather sustain the mystery with my silence than dispel all doubt with my voice. Therefore, those words will stay mine and mine alone.
Unless asked. If asked, I will tell. Introverted or not, I always speak if spoken to. After all, I am polite, impeccably so. Of course this seldom happens. 'Weird' and unapproachable tend to put people off. Especially in Austin. Weird.
Still, I'm not going to go shouting anything at the top of my lungs. I learned long ago to use my inside voice and even if I have something nice to say I need to think twice before voicing it. Especially when such an outburst would be inappropriate for the setting and completely out of character for the quiet woman who while impeccably polite rarely speaks except when spoken to.
Few would recognize this introverted woman. Not friends and certainly not co-workers. To them, she is outgoing and willing to talk to anyone. They are mistaken. She prefers quiet observation and disinterest to conversation and any sort of outward showing of emotion or opinion. To those that pass her by, she is weird, closed off, stuck up, mute, unapproachable. She might even be dumb, though they will readily admit that they lack direct evidence to make such a bold assertion.
On the contrary, she is normal, open, quiet, approachable, and highly intelligent. A textbook introvert. She has perhaps learned that anything other than silence is waste of time, that people are more intent upon hearing themselves than others. That people label and judge regardless of voice or action. That a whisper only she can hear carries far more consequence than a grand statement shouted at the top of her lungs. Self-made and self-sustained, she doesn't see the need for any sort of outside interaction. If silence equals an unacceptable version of weird in her current home town, then so be it. It's who she's always been and always will be. Living amid the pretentiously weird in Austin isn't going to change that fact.
So, no... I don't think I'll be shouting anything any time soon. It's just not my style. Closer to the vest, that's me. Introverted. My inside voice may shout it over and over, but not a peep will be heard in the real world. I have and respect boundaries. I know people will think what they will, but I'd rather sustain the mystery with my silence than dispel all doubt with my voice. Therefore, those words will stay mine and mine alone.
Unless asked. If asked, I will tell. Introverted or not, I always speak if spoken to. After all, I am polite, impeccably so. Of course this seldom happens. 'Weird' and unapproachable tend to put people off. Especially in Austin. Weird.
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