You and Ice Cream

"It's always your favorite sins that'll do you in." ~ from Kenny Chesney, "You and Tequila"

"What's this?" I asked as I took the Sonic cup from her hands and peered inside. A spoon stuck out of the top. It had to be ice cream, by the look of it vanilla with tell-tale black specks. Only one thing that could be.

"Oreo Blizzard," she confirmed as I handed the cup back.

"My favorite." No lie. I love Oreo Blizzards, I just seldom eat them.

"Have some." She gestured the cup back my direction.

I shook my head. I'm trying to lose weight or at the very least trying not to gain it. Plus it's the holidays and sweets have been everywhere. She knows this.

"It's just a bite. It won't kill you."

Resigned, I agreed. I took the cup from her and looked at the spoon, the only spoon handy. "Can I use your spoon?" I asked.

She looked at me like I was an idiot. "I don't have any cooties," she replied.

 A couple nights before I drank from her straw. So that wasn't a one-off. This was the level of intimacy we'd reached.

And so I took a bite. Then immediately handed the cup back. I wanted more, probably could have eaten more. I'm sure she would have let me.

I know my limits and I know the wages of sin. One bite, one taste, can lead to more. And then where would I be? Having just rushed headlong through a veritable hedonistic gateway with little concern about the consequences, anything could happen, literally anything, at this point.

Last night I managed to stop at one bite. But what about the next time? I've had a taste, now what? Assuredly - because I know me better than anyone - I'm going to want more. If I let myself go unchecked by reason, I'll end up at Sonic or Menchies or, worst case scenario, the Creamistry. And what I end up getting won't be small. It'll be catastrophically - sinfully - large.

I don't sin often. I try to maintain a lifestyle of extremely regulated moderation.  Because as I said above, I know me and I know my weakness. I'm not good at holding myself back when faced with temptation. In other words, it only seems like I'm in control. Control is an illusion that begins and ends with restricting access. If I don't see it, don't taste it, don't whatever it, I won't want it.

And it's perfect too until someone brings a Sonic Blizzard to your office and offers up a spoon. Then all kinds of temptation take over and sin - a favorite one, of course - stands in front of you, hands on hips, and all but dares you to walk away. Which you won't do. Because you rationalize it's just one bite. One. A small one at that. And where can that lead? It doesn't have to lead anywhere. You simply look away, politely decline another. 

Lookie there. You've whooped sin. 

Until the next day when you're at the counter at the Creamistry on your lunch hour ordering a large Nutella with coconut milk. 

"Oh, and add some Heath Bar crumbles to that, please."

Are you f***ing kidding? Only a little. I'm telling you that's how it goes. It's all innocent until one day when you least expect it, you take one small bite off a plastic spoon and then it's FULL FRONTAL all the way. Suddenly, you're sucked in, so far in, you have no idea how you'll find your way back to moderation. And sanity. 

Ice cream, donuts, pizza. Each and every one, my downfall. And all it takes is one bite. Adam, I feel you, man. As they say, it's always your favorite sins...

***There are a couple sins I didn't include in the list. The astute reader will know that while this post was about ice cream, it wasn't really about ice cream...***