Unprecedented Times
Maybe it's because it's only 11:30am and I'm already drinking. I dunno. I don't normally day drink. Hell, I don't normally drink. I'm blaming this on the 'Rona (a.k.a. the Coronavirus; a.k.a. COVID-19). I bought a six pack of Angry Orchard on Monday afternoon and at last count, I only have two left. What's more, I had rum and coke last night. Granted compared to normal people, I'm not drinking much at all. Compared to me under normal conditions, I'm a f***ing lush. We are living in unprecedented times. I'm drinking on the regular and there's a toilet paper shortage. I'm also trying to find some humor in an otherwise humorless situation. God, I gotta find something good in all this. And humor is good. Of course, I'll probably end up crying before I hit "Publish."
I cried already today. I teared up as I hung up the phone after calling in to the job I never call into. But f*** I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Being essential is cool and all...except when people aren't buying essential things. I truly would rather volunteer my time in the healthcare trenches than sell paint to bored f***ers a hundred yards behind the front line. At least if I got sick, I'd have been doing something necessary, meaningful even; helping people who actually need help. Yeah so... It's well documented that I have issues with anxiety. Nothing debilitating when life is within a standard deviation of normal. However... The gaslighting girlfriend, my move to Las Vegas last summer while my mom was nearly dying from radiation treatments a thousand miles in the opposite direction, a seemingly unstoppable global pandemic? Those kinds of things present a problem. To combat the current challenge, I'm drinking more (see previous paragraph) and putting as much distance between me and my triggers as I can (ie taking time off work). Given that I abhor pharmaceuticals (for me...they are perfectly ok for others), I'm proud to say that my Xanax stash remains at its pre 'Rona level. Go me. Celebrate the victories when you find them.
That's why I'm trying to find something to laugh about when nothing is legitimately funny. I feel more and more that this thing is my generation's World War II. We tried to stay out of it as long as we could, but this f***ing virus, much like the Nazis in the '30s and '40s, is cutting a swath through the world, like the entire world, and we are about as effective against it as the Polish mounted cavalry was against German tanks in August 1939. Like the early days of WW2, there's bad intel, underblown assessments of the enemy, and a truckload of blame and denial. Surely, something will come along and save us. Our version of D-Day and the atom bomb, in my stressed out opinion, is a lot further away than the powers-that-be would lead us to believe. Before all is said and done, we will face near complete economic collapse, potentially worse than the Great Depression (How do you put people to work when no one is suppose to leave the house?) and witness the absolute worst human nature has to offer.
There will still be beauty? Yes, there will be. People will still fall in love. Goodness will emerge in unlikely places. We will stand and be stronger together. Still others will get rich selling toilet paper, N95 masks, and hand sanitizer to the highest bidder on the black market. It's important, in times like this, to remember that most people strive for good. These are some of the same people who have enough toilet paper hoarded in their garage to last four years under normal conditions. Which...let's be honest, the 'Rona doesn't impact TP usage. Granted we are all at home and not able to potty at work or while out and about, but f*** let's not go crazy with it.
Speaking of... Today I offered to overnight toilet paper to my girlfriend. She's running low and struggling to find some. I have extra. Well, I have enough. And I offered to send her some. Overnight. Toilet paper is light, but overnighting anything is pricey. And yet, I made the offer like it was nothing. I'm on a stay-at-home order here in Nevada, but I deem going to the local UPS store to ship toilet paper seventeen states away to my girlfriend - overnight - an essential errand. Please note - That was not phrased as a question. We are indeed living in unprecedented times.
Let's give credit where credit is due on this one. I give 1% to the 'Rona and the other 99% to the stupid f***ers who insist upon continuing to hoard when we have been reassured that grocery stores (ie the primary purveyors of paper goods) will remain open for the duration of the pandemic. Look, I'm enough of a negativist to admit that things may change on down the road, but for now there is no legit reason to believe TP supplies will be cut off any time soon. Good Christ, ration a little and stop with the hoarding.
Did my girlfriend take me up on my offer? No...not yet. Four stores down with more to go. Seriously. Can an entire city be out? Apparently, it's possible. What in the hell do you do then? Sniff out the black market? Hope your girlfriend on the other side of the country has extra? Nonetheless I'm tempering my day drinking just in case I have to beat it to the UPS store before closing. I may not be the only one there boxing up six super size rolls of TP. Aint't no telling. F***ing unprecedented times.
I was reminded this morning that no matter how bad it seems, there is still plenty of good around us. Find that. Celebrate that. Love that. In the end, love, beauty, and goodness will triumph. They will. They must. If we stand together, share what we have, and love each other, we will be strong enough to withstand anything. Including the 'Rona and its concomitant toilet paper shortage.
I cried already today. I teared up as I hung up the phone after calling in to the job I never call into. But f*** I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Being essential is cool and all...except when people aren't buying essential things. I truly would rather volunteer my time in the healthcare trenches than sell paint to bored f***ers a hundred yards behind the front line. At least if I got sick, I'd have been doing something necessary, meaningful even; helping people who actually need help. Yeah so... It's well documented that I have issues with anxiety. Nothing debilitating when life is within a standard deviation of normal. However... The gaslighting girlfriend, my move to Las Vegas last summer while my mom was nearly dying from radiation treatments a thousand miles in the opposite direction, a seemingly unstoppable global pandemic? Those kinds of things present a problem. To combat the current challenge, I'm drinking more (see previous paragraph) and putting as much distance between me and my triggers as I can (ie taking time off work). Given that I abhor pharmaceuticals (for me...they are perfectly ok for others), I'm proud to say that my Xanax stash remains at its pre 'Rona level. Go me. Celebrate the victories when you find them.
That's why I'm trying to find something to laugh about when nothing is legitimately funny. I feel more and more that this thing is my generation's World War II. We tried to stay out of it as long as we could, but this f***ing virus, much like the Nazis in the '30s and '40s, is cutting a swath through the world, like the entire world, and we are about as effective against it as the Polish mounted cavalry was against German tanks in August 1939. Like the early days of WW2, there's bad intel, underblown assessments of the enemy, and a truckload of blame and denial. Surely, something will come along and save us. Our version of D-Day and the atom bomb, in my stressed out opinion, is a lot further away than the powers-that-be would lead us to believe. Before all is said and done, we will face near complete economic collapse, potentially worse than the Great Depression (How do you put people to work when no one is suppose to leave the house?) and witness the absolute worst human nature has to offer.
There will still be beauty? Yes, there will be. People will still fall in love. Goodness will emerge in unlikely places. We will stand and be stronger together. Still others will get rich selling toilet paper, N95 masks, and hand sanitizer to the highest bidder on the black market. It's important, in times like this, to remember that most people strive for good. These are some of the same people who have enough toilet paper hoarded in their garage to last four years under normal conditions. Which...let's be honest, the 'Rona doesn't impact TP usage. Granted we are all at home and not able to potty at work or while out and about, but f*** let's not go crazy with it.
Speaking of... Today I offered to overnight toilet paper to my girlfriend. She's running low and struggling to find some. I have extra. Well, I have enough. And I offered to send her some. Overnight. Toilet paper is light, but overnighting anything is pricey. And yet, I made the offer like it was nothing. I'm on a stay-at-home order here in Nevada, but I deem going to the local UPS store to ship toilet paper seventeen states away to my girlfriend - overnight - an essential errand. Please note - That was not phrased as a question. We are indeed living in unprecedented times.
Let's give credit where credit is due on this one. I give 1% to the 'Rona and the other 99% to the stupid f***ers who insist upon continuing to hoard when we have been reassured that grocery stores (ie the primary purveyors of paper goods) will remain open for the duration of the pandemic. Look, I'm enough of a negativist to admit that things may change on down the road, but for now there is no legit reason to believe TP supplies will be cut off any time soon. Good Christ, ration a little and stop with the hoarding.
Did my girlfriend take me up on my offer? No...not yet. Four stores down with more to go. Seriously. Can an entire city be out? Apparently, it's possible. What in the hell do you do then? Sniff out the black market? Hope your girlfriend on the other side of the country has extra? Nonetheless I'm tempering my day drinking just in case I have to beat it to the UPS store before closing. I may not be the only one there boxing up six super size rolls of TP. Aint't no telling. F***ing unprecedented times.
I was reminded this morning that no matter how bad it seems, there is still plenty of good around us. Find that. Celebrate that. Love that. In the end, love, beauty, and goodness will triumph. They will. They must. If we stand together, share what we have, and love each other, we will be strong enough to withstand anything. Including the 'Rona and its concomitant toilet paper shortage.
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