The Top 10 Things I've Learned from the Pandemic
Because you gotta find the bright side, right? Look, people are sick, dying, out of work, overworked, stuck at home, stuck away from home, lonely, overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, unsure, confused, bored, broke, self-isolating, quarantined, out of TP, hoarding TP, essential, non-essential. Some are heroes; some are fuckers; still others are just trying to survive. The world, like almost literally the entire world, is closed. To say these are unprecedented times doesn't quite explain what's going on. It's not a zombie apocalypse nor an Old Testament-esque plague, but it's pretty f***ing devastating by first world twenty-first century standards. Before mid-March when just about everything in America shut down (and food delivery found a resurgence), what was the worst we dealt with on a daily basis? Traffic jams, micromanaging bosses, our kid's asshole soccer coach, the occasional internet outage, a busted washing machine? Now a month later, we're rationing toilet paper and learning how to sew fabric masks (that probably won't protect us much anyway).
I have to say all this - plus an un-diagnosed case of the virus (because I don't have enough risk factors to rate a test...yet another example of performance punishment in my world) - have darkened my normally sunny disposition. I've openly called people f***ers and repeatedly spewed negativity on friends via text (Sorry, Maggie Mae) and in person (Sorry, Juan and Diana). I should probably also apologize to my girlfriend because God only knows what kind of bullsh** I've splashed her way. As a way of redeeming myself, I decided to put together an unusually positive blog post. I'm going to see if I can cobble together ten positive things (Tonya has always liked my Top Ten lists...Been a hot minute, I know) that I've learned since human existence as we know it changed last month. Last month, yo. I recall that it was St. Patrick's Day when the sh** came down. One of the biggest party nights of the year and everything was closed - bars, casinos, restaurants. No dispensation for being Irish. At all. It's been four f***ing weeks.
Alright, so here we go. Time to be positive. As always, there's nothing to the order. Other than my randomly effed up brain. Pray we make it to ten...
(1) The lowest paid among us are truly heroes. Sure, they have to work to put food on the table and keep the lights on, but damn... Day in day out, these folks head out and face the unknown. They work until they are too sick to work and take care of essential and non-essential customers (the f***ers I referred to above) without comment (ok, so I commented...A LOT) and discrimination. And, healthcare workers? Jesus. We need to pay them double or triple or whatever it takes to make it worth their while. Because f***, we wouldn't send a soldier into war without an armored vehicle and a rifle. With ammo. And yet we fail to provide even the basics for our healthcare workers. Whoa... Let me stop right there. This is supposed to be positive, remember?
(2) Food and beverage delivery apps are the bomb. They serve a multi-fold purpose - (a) Restaurants get more customers and get to stay in business (Frequent local privately owned before you look at national and multi-national chains), (b) God bless all the delivery drivers. They go out into the world when we can't or don't want to. TIP YOUR DRIVER!!! This has become my new social media mantra (Thanks, Shaun, for adding it when I forgot), (c) It makes the food you have in the pantry last longer and thus minimizes trips to the grocery store.
(3) Many companies are learning that working from home is a viable and often cost-saving option. This could solidify what I like to call COVID traffic patterns and create better quality of life for many workers who spend hours on the road each day.
(4) Families are spending more time together. Some have joked that divorces and babies will be prevalent in the coming months. I classify both as good things, positives. If too much togetherness highlights certain issues and incompatibilities, then so be it. Something had to be the catalyst. If we create a generation of "coronials" at least we'll repopulate the world. And their parents will actually be people who stayed the f*** home. And well...you know...
(5) We've all cultivated new indoor hobbies. Jigsaw puzzles, board games, reading (I've been visiting the e-book section of my public library weekly), video gaming, conversation, suduko, sewing (Plenty of time on hand to sew some masks that won't offer much protection...but, well, idle hands) day drinking, cake baking. And apparently 98% of Las Vegas homeowners have freshly painted kitchen cabinets.
(6) I no longer take the ability to go somewhere (ANYWHERE) for granted. After eight days on COVID self-isolation, a five block trip to the post office to mail an actual letter to my girlfriend (Yes, a for real handwritten letter on actual paper, circa 1920) seemed like the moon shot. As much as I adore getting coffee (ok, anything) delivered, I cannot wait until I can go to a coffee place and actually sit there to drink my coffee.
(7) I have seen more of my neighbors than I have since moving here in July. We are all home. We are all stuck. They open their doors and windows and music rains down on the courtyard...and weed smoke (It is legal here). People smile at each other a little more. They don't stop to talk - social distancing being a necessity - but they do slow down enough to say hello. We are all f***ing starved (and I'm an introvert) for just a small bit of human interaction.
(8) My dad and I can't see each other; his assisted living has been thankfully on lockdown for most of the past month. But...We talk everyday. He calls me usually between 4:00PM and 5:00PM and we chat for a couple minutes. I have the feeling it's something we will continue doing on the days my sister visits once his facility opens back up or when I'm traveling or living elsewhere.
(9) I've started reading the news everyday. Sure, a lot of it is sh** and I've learned far more about the ineptitude of our president than I ever imagined knowing... But I think I'm forming a habit that will continue even after the "news" returns to normal. It's good to be informed.
(10) Last but not least... Dating in the time of coronavirus. And not just "dating." Long distance dating. I'm not one of the lucky ones on lockdown with the woman I love. I'm left with text messages, phone calls, and video chats. It's not easy just seeing her face on a screen, not being able to touch her, and really not knowing (even though we have a visit scheduled for next month) when we will be together again. Even so, I've drawn at least a couple positives from our situation. (a) We communicate exceptionally well and through that communication we are building a solid foundation that will help us weather anything thrown our way in the future, (b) I know with every certainty that I will never take a moment in her presence for granted, and (c) I will NOT be 2,200 miles away from her when the next apocalypse hits. When I miss her so much I can feel it in my very soul, I try to remind myself that this time away from each other is finite and that we will be stronger together for it.
~~
Holy sh**. I actually made it to ten. I didn't think I had it in me. I challenge every reader to think of even more. We have to find something good in this. We have to. The lives lost and the suffering can't be for nothing. Try. Even if you have to try hard. I squeezed out ten. Surely, you can hack out one, maybe two. I know you can.
I have to say all this - plus an un-diagnosed case of the virus (because I don't have enough risk factors to rate a test...yet another example of performance punishment in my world) - have darkened my normally sunny disposition. I've openly called people f***ers and repeatedly spewed negativity on friends via text (Sorry, Maggie Mae) and in person (Sorry, Juan and Diana). I should probably also apologize to my girlfriend because God only knows what kind of bullsh** I've splashed her way. As a way of redeeming myself, I decided to put together an unusually positive blog post. I'm going to see if I can cobble together ten positive things (Tonya has always liked my Top Ten lists...Been a hot minute, I know) that I've learned since human existence as we know it changed last month. Last month, yo. I recall that it was St. Patrick's Day when the sh** came down. One of the biggest party nights of the year and everything was closed - bars, casinos, restaurants. No dispensation for being Irish. At all. It's been four f***ing weeks.
Alright, so here we go. Time to be positive. As always, there's nothing to the order. Other than my randomly effed up brain. Pray we make it to ten...
(1) The lowest paid among us are truly heroes. Sure, they have to work to put food on the table and keep the lights on, but damn... Day in day out, these folks head out and face the unknown. They work until they are too sick to work and take care of essential and non-essential customers (the f***ers I referred to above) without comment (ok, so I commented...A LOT) and discrimination. And, healthcare workers? Jesus. We need to pay them double or triple or whatever it takes to make it worth their while. Because f***, we wouldn't send a soldier into war without an armored vehicle and a rifle. With ammo. And yet we fail to provide even the basics for our healthcare workers. Whoa... Let me stop right there. This is supposed to be positive, remember?
(2) Food and beverage delivery apps are the bomb. They serve a multi-fold purpose - (a) Restaurants get more customers and get to stay in business (Frequent local privately owned before you look at national and multi-national chains), (b) God bless all the delivery drivers. They go out into the world when we can't or don't want to. TIP YOUR DRIVER!!! This has become my new social media mantra (Thanks, Shaun, for adding it when I forgot), (c) It makes the food you have in the pantry last longer and thus minimizes trips to the grocery store.
(3) Many companies are learning that working from home is a viable and often cost-saving option. This could solidify what I like to call COVID traffic patterns and create better quality of life for many workers who spend hours on the road each day.
(4) Families are spending more time together. Some have joked that divorces and babies will be prevalent in the coming months. I classify both as good things, positives. If too much togetherness highlights certain issues and incompatibilities, then so be it. Something had to be the catalyst. If we create a generation of "coronials" at least we'll repopulate the world. And their parents will actually be people who stayed the f*** home. And well...you know...
(5) We've all cultivated new indoor hobbies. Jigsaw puzzles, board games, reading (I've been visiting the e-book section of my public library weekly), video gaming, conversation, suduko, sewing (Plenty of time on hand to sew some masks that won't offer much protection...but, well, idle hands) day drinking, cake baking. And apparently 98% of Las Vegas homeowners have freshly painted kitchen cabinets.
(6) I no longer take the ability to go somewhere (ANYWHERE) for granted. After eight days on COVID self-isolation, a five block trip to the post office to mail an actual letter to my girlfriend (Yes, a for real handwritten letter on actual paper, circa 1920) seemed like the moon shot. As much as I adore getting coffee (ok, anything) delivered, I cannot wait until I can go to a coffee place and actually sit there to drink my coffee.
(7) I have seen more of my neighbors than I have since moving here in July. We are all home. We are all stuck. They open their doors and windows and music rains down on the courtyard...and weed smoke (It is legal here). People smile at each other a little more. They don't stop to talk - social distancing being a necessity - but they do slow down enough to say hello. We are all f***ing starved (and I'm an introvert) for just a small bit of human interaction.
(8) My dad and I can't see each other; his assisted living has been thankfully on lockdown for most of the past month. But...We talk everyday. He calls me usually between 4:00PM and 5:00PM and we chat for a couple minutes. I have the feeling it's something we will continue doing on the days my sister visits once his facility opens back up or when I'm traveling or living elsewhere.
(9) I've started reading the news everyday. Sure, a lot of it is sh** and I've learned far more about the ineptitude of our president than I ever imagined knowing... But I think I'm forming a habit that will continue even after the "news" returns to normal. It's good to be informed.
(10) Last but not least... Dating in the time of coronavirus. And not just "dating." Long distance dating. I'm not one of the lucky ones on lockdown with the woman I love. I'm left with text messages, phone calls, and video chats. It's not easy just seeing her face on a screen, not being able to touch her, and really not knowing (even though we have a visit scheduled for next month) when we will be together again. Even so, I've drawn at least a couple positives from our situation. (a) We communicate exceptionally well and through that communication we are building a solid foundation that will help us weather anything thrown our way in the future, (b) I know with every certainty that I will never take a moment in her presence for granted, and (c) I will NOT be 2,200 miles away from her when the next apocalypse hits. When I miss her so much I can feel it in my very soul, I try to remind myself that this time away from each other is finite and that we will be stronger together for it.
~~
Holy sh**. I actually made it to ten. I didn't think I had it in me. I challenge every reader to think of even more. We have to find something good in this. We have to. The lives lost and the suffering can't be for nothing. Try. Even if you have to try hard. I squeezed out ten. Surely, you can hack out one, maybe two. I know you can.
Comments
Post a Comment