Three Books, One Friends' Shelf, and a Nifty Story Idea
I don't know where to start. Originally, I was going to begin by discussing the three books I'm reading. Seriously. Yes, the Begrudging Reader (that's me) is actually reading multiple books. At once. One is a 'real' book; the others are electronic (which, let me tell you, greatly reduces the amount of crap I schlep around on a daily basis). Two were recommended by friends (more on this in a moment) and one is a light-hearted-easily-read-at-the-gym-lesbian-romance-minus-the-usual-erotica-that-seems-to-come-standard-in-lesbian-romances that I chose myself. In my reader days - late high school and college - I usually read more than one book at a time so that I'm reprising that now isn't as surprising to me as it might be to others. I get bored easily and if I want to keep reading (rather than mindlessly watching TV), I need a second and even a third book.
In this case, there's a little more to it than that. You see...and this is where it gets slightly embarrassing...in a way...two of the books were recommended by women I have crushes on. Yes. crushes. Plural (Currently, the crush head-count is three, to be exact) and shockingly high school in nature. When a woman you have a crush on recommends a book (or a series of books in one case), you immediately find it on Amazon and order it. And start reading it. And tell her you're reading it. And enjoying it (I'm above lying so I am in fact enjoying the books), Why? Lord, it's all irrational, isn't it? You tell me.
What about the third book, the lesbian romance one, is it related to the third crush you mentioned? Completely unrelated. Well, at least tangentially unrelated. Ok, maybe consciously unrelated. Please, please, please, let's not swing into my subconscious on this one. I'm getting to a discussion of the friends' shelf for a reason. Because no. Just no. And no again.
The crushes. It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had one. Ok, now that's a lie - It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had oneon someone in the contiguous U.S. Let me re-phrase. It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had one that's truly accessible. In fact, two of the current ones are geographically accessible - like I-see-them-several-times-a-week accessible. The third is half a country away and so only virtually accessible....which let me tell you...I'm honestly thankful for...because oddly the word "dismantling" suddenly comes to mind.
Not that any of them are anywhere near realistically accessible. Because if I'm honest, brutally honest, they are crushes for a reason. Accessible or not, crushes are safe. I can feel what I feel (which is never pinpoint accurate and thus impossible to describe), read books they recommend, create some really inspired fiction, and remain decisively non-committal. Hell, they don't even have to know and probably shouldn't know if I want to maintain a friendship that doesn't get weird. And, really, I'd have absolutely NO idea what to do with myself if they "crushed" me back. That is just how inept I am in the real world.
Which is where the Friends' Shelf comes in. It's where all of my crushes generally land once I'm done crushing or make myself be done crushing for the safety of all involved. Because sometimes it's best if you shut it down and hoist them up. I mean, beyond a certain point, it just gets ridiculous. It's never going to happen (the definition of "It" tends to blur and remain largely ethereal). Historically, they've been straight and married with children (including the current three) so imagining otherwise for too long is a bit insane. Given that I like to stay on this side of sane, eventually they get placed on the Friends' Shelf. These three will be no different.
I know at least a couple of you are curious. How can I crush on three different women at once? Perhaps I'm making up for lost time. After all, it's been awhile. I can't say that isn't part of it. I've been lost in a desert and now I've come along three oases and I can't quite decide which I like best. Each brings something different - one is spirit, one is body, one is mind. I know it's awful to break it down so simply and in reality it isn't that simple. Nothing involving women ever is. At least one could be all three if I let her (She'll be the first one on the Friends' Shelf) and maybe the others could be also. It's just easier - psychologically speaking - to compartmentalize, pigeon-hole them, if you will.
In any case - I'll say it again - it's a crush for a reason. Crushes by and large - especially where I'm concerned - go ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. Well, except the Friends' Shelf. It's gotta be a fun place. A bunch of arguably hot women, spiritually, physically, and mentally speaking? All in one place? I think Tonya still keeps vodka on hand, but she quit drinking awhile back so I can't be sure. Now, there's a story idea. Sort of like Pirandello's "Six Characters in Search of an Author." What happens when a bunch of Stacee's former crushes get together on the Friends' Shelf? Gah. There's no telling. I may have to think on that one...
In this case, there's a little more to it than that. You see...and this is where it gets slightly embarrassing...in a way...two of the books were recommended by women I have crushes on. Yes. crushes. Plural (Currently, the crush head-count is three, to be exact) and shockingly high school in nature. When a woman you have a crush on recommends a book (or a series of books in one case), you immediately find it on Amazon and order it. And start reading it. And tell her you're reading it. And enjoying it (I'm above lying so I am in fact enjoying the books), Why? Lord, it's all irrational, isn't it? You tell me.
What about the third book, the lesbian romance one, is it related to the third crush you mentioned? Completely unrelated. Well, at least tangentially unrelated. Ok, maybe consciously unrelated. Please, please, please, let's not swing into my subconscious on this one. I'm getting to a discussion of the friends' shelf for a reason. Because no. Just no. And no again.
The crushes. It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had one. Ok, now that's a lie - It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had oneon someone in the contiguous U.S. Let me re-phrase. It's been well more than a hot minute since I've had one that's truly accessible. In fact, two of the current ones are geographically accessible - like I-see-them-several-times-a-week accessible. The third is half a country away and so only virtually accessible....which let me tell you...I'm honestly thankful for...because oddly the word "dismantling" suddenly comes to mind.
Not that any of them are anywhere near realistically accessible. Because if I'm honest, brutally honest, they are crushes for a reason. Accessible or not, crushes are safe. I can feel what I feel (which is never pinpoint accurate and thus impossible to describe), read books they recommend, create some really inspired fiction, and remain decisively non-committal. Hell, they don't even have to know and probably shouldn't know if I want to maintain a friendship that doesn't get weird. And, really, I'd have absolutely NO idea what to do with myself if they "crushed" me back. That is just how inept I am in the real world.
Which is where the Friends' Shelf comes in. It's where all of my crushes generally land once I'm done crushing or make myself be done crushing for the safety of all involved. Because sometimes it's best if you shut it down and hoist them up. I mean, beyond a certain point, it just gets ridiculous. It's never going to happen (the definition of "It" tends to blur and remain largely ethereal). Historically, they've been straight and married with children (including the current three) so imagining otherwise for too long is a bit insane. Given that I like to stay on this side of sane, eventually they get placed on the Friends' Shelf. These three will be no different.
I know at least a couple of you are curious. How can I crush on three different women at once? Perhaps I'm making up for lost time. After all, it's been awhile. I can't say that isn't part of it. I've been lost in a desert and now I've come along three oases and I can't quite decide which I like best. Each brings something different - one is spirit, one is body, one is mind. I know it's awful to break it down so simply and in reality it isn't that simple. Nothing involving women ever is. At least one could be all three if I let her (She'll be the first one on the Friends' Shelf) and maybe the others could be also. It's just easier - psychologically speaking - to compartmentalize, pigeon-hole them, if you will.
In any case - I'll say it again - it's a crush for a reason. Crushes by and large - especially where I'm concerned - go ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE. Well, except the Friends' Shelf. It's gotta be a fun place. A bunch of arguably hot women, spiritually, physically, and mentally speaking? All in one place? I think Tonya still keeps vodka on hand, but she quit drinking awhile back so I can't be sure. Now, there's a story idea. Sort of like Pirandello's "Six Characters in Search of an Author." What happens when a bunch of Stacee's former crushes get together on the Friends' Shelf? Gah. There's no telling. I may have to think on that one...
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