Off Track Betting (The One About Mexico vs. Sweden)

Tomorrow, in the World Cup, Mexico plays Sweden in one of the last matches to decide who moves out of the group stage (I still haven't mastered the lingo). Mexico is more or less in - I don't think even a loss can impede their progress into the next phase of the tournament. Sweden, though, is, as we say in American sports, 'on the bubble'. A win gives them a chance, but a loss has them on a plane back to Stockholm. Who cares, you ask? I do. And so does my friend, Manny. You see, he has Mexican heritage and, with the US not participating, Mexico is his team. And well, me... For reasons more or less inexplicable to the majority of people, myself included, I'm all about Sweden. I am zero-point-zero percent Swedish, but as I've said many, many times before, Sweden is my place. It only makes sense that I'd root for them in the World Cup.

When the schedule first came out a couple weeks ago, Manny and I realized that our teams were in the same group and would eventually play each other in the round-robin phase of the tournament. As the day of the actual contest drew closer, we decided that we ought to bet something on the outcome of the game, just for fun. Given that neither of us have a lot of excess cash laying around, we knew we needed something clever. I thought about a car wash or even a dog wash (We both have one car and two dogs), but neither sounded very exciting. It took a couple days, but then it came to me.

Here's the bet we agreed on - Loser makes the winner an authentic meal of the loser's cuisine. So, if I lose, I have to make Manny a Swedish meal. If he loses, I get a traditional Mexican meal. Homemade. He can't take me to Taco Bell or Chuy's and I can't haul him across town to the IKEA cafeteria. Nope. We have to make real food in a real kitchen. And, in a way, we both win because we have an excuse (not that we need one) to hang out.

I know (KNOW!) several of you out there are thinking exactly what I'm thinking. In no particular order...

1. I don't cook. Ok, I've got a decent mastery of eggs (scrambled only) and my roommate tells me I'm pretty good at baking chicken, but that is almost the extent of my cooking repertoire.

2. I'm not Swedish. I didn't grow up with a mormor or farmor who made traditional Swedish foods for jul and at midsommar. And except for my three trips to Sweden and the one time I bought frozen meatballs at IKEA, I've never eaten Swedish food. In other words, I'm next to clueless.

All is not lost. We could win the game. But if we don't, I actually have two things working in my favor.

1. My mom taught me how to read a recipe.

2. Google.

(I bet you thought I was going to say IKEA's frozen food section just fifteen miles away.)

Let's all remember something else about me. I love a challenge. Learning to cook a Swedish meal could be fun and educational. I would highly encourage Manny to keep Papa John's or Domino's on speed dial, just in case, but I think I'll be ok. And I'll learn a little bit more about the country I'm so enamored with.

My plan is simple. If Sweden loses the game and I lose the bet, I'll Google some recipes, ferret out a couple easy ones, figure out where I can buy the ingredients (IKEA honestly might be able to help with this. Besides Amazon has everything, don't they?) then all I have to do is follow the recipe. Easy-peasy.

Anywho, we shall see tomorrow. Manny and I are working but I'm sure that we will both find a way to follow the game (and send each other snarky texts). I wish I could watch - Yes, I just said that. The game against Germany almost made me a believer. Almost. If we beat Mexico and I don't have to cook and we stay alive in the tournament, I might become an actual real-live soccer fan. Maybe. At least until the World Cup is over.