The Exception

Exception List:

"For people in a committed relationship, a list of people with whom they are allowed to have sexual encounters with... Typically the people on an exception list are models or celebrities or people whom you would never expect to have a chance to sleep with..."

(Bad grammar courtesy of www.urbandictionary.com)

It's all hypothetical, right? I mean what are the chances? First you have to actually meet someone on the list. THEN he or she has to want to sleep with you. The odds have to be worse than the odds of winning $4 billion on the Power Ball. But what if? What if the planets aligned on the same day that all the numbers matched?

Stranger things have happened. And that's why I've always had an exception list. Like me, you may struggle to win two bucks on a scratch off, but it pays to be ready, have a plan, just in case the big score appears in line behind you at Starbucks and strikes up a conversation. The last thing you want is a potentially guilty conscience hovering around just waiting to ruin the moment. 

And all that is easy enough to avoid. A short list scrawled on a cocktail napkin or on the back of the electric bill (any piece of scrap paper really), an equally brief conversation with your partner, and you're set.

Or you can blog it, like I've been prone to do over the years. Of course I may have been a bit too vocal because when my long standing #1 announced she was divorcing her husband I got texts and emails from a variety of people, including my mother, telling me that 'now was my chance'. Of course, by then she had slid to #2... (She's now clinging to the bottom rung at #4)

I guess that begs a question - How many people should be on the list? It's a list so I've always assumed more than one. I usually have between three and five - currently there are four - and the order tends to be somewhat fluid. Even though the list is essentially hypothetical, I believe it should be somewhat selective. 

The whole thing is a bit tacky? Yep. Sure is. Imagine being a celeb and finding yourself on a zillion Exception Lists. Would you be flattered or offended? I suspect I would be a mix of both. Like the time a co-worker conducted a poll asking who we would want to take us home after the Christmas party (wink, wink) and I ended up the overwhelming favorite of both men and women. I was shocked and impressed...and a bit unsettled. Of course, I knew the people who listed me AND I went to the Christmas party. I like to tell myself it's different for celebs. The women on my list don't know me AND the chances of us meeting are beyond minuscule. It's a lot less creepy that way.

Sure, I've made a couple changes to my list recently, but all this came to mind because I'm weeding through some concepts and ideas for a new story. It's about what happens to a relationship when the hypothetical becomes the factual. Even with an exception list, does it end up feeling like cheating? To which partner? And what of the celeb? Does he or she have any (figurative) skin in the game? 

Think about it. What would happen in your relationship if you came home and announced that you'd slept with so-and-so? What would happen if your partner came home and announced he or she had slept with so-and-so? Even though you had deal, so to speak, that so-and-so was an exception to the no cheating rule? As with many hypothetical concepts, there's no way to know unless it actually happens.

Regardless of the potential dangers, it's still fun to think about. And as an old friend used to say, "Thoughts become things". And occasionally they do. Of course, three of the four women on my list are straight, a wrinkle that makes the odds even longer for me. Eh... Dare not, dream not. And we all gotta dream. 

~~

{Surprised I didn't name names, given that I have in the past? I guess I'm more about privacy these days. And really, even casual followers of me and my blog should know at least two, my current #2 and #4, respectively. Serious readers might be able to divine #3 from a blog I wrote a couple years ago. What about #1? I reserve the right not to tell all my secrets.}