Call It Anything But Yoga

I vehemently dislike yoga. There I said it. It's not the first time I've been vocal about my disdain. I once even said, in this Blog, that "it didn't  matter how pretty she was, I wouldn't do it". That's a strong statement when you consider the things I've done in my life simply because there was a pretty woman involved.

Why not, Stacee? Why won't you do yoga? It's so good for you. You'll love it. You could use some flexibility.It would help your tennis game. Hot women do it.  Blah, blah, blah. 

Ok, I get bored watching TV, while reading  a magazine, while listening to music in a half hour on the Elliptical at the gym. And you want me to spend how long? 60 minutes? 90 minutes? maneuvering my body in and out of various intricate contortions? With no TV, music, or magazine to keep me company?

Maybe if there was a ball involved.

Maybe. 

But probably not. 

~

Last week I approached one of the personal trainers at my gym. I want to increase my core strength and improve my flexibility. My reasoning has everything to do with my tennis game and with wanting to walk upright into my old age. Short of surgery, my right shoulder is always going to suck. Knock on wood, it feels decent right now and I can do just about everything I need to do (can't say the same thing about my elbow). However, if I want to take my game to another level (which I always do), I need to strengthen my legs and core. As for the flexibility piece, it's good injury prevention and it just might allow me to fool my body into thinking I'm still thirty.

I pay for a gym membership and I'm willing to pay for tennis lessons. I used to be a certified personal trainer and fitness instructor so it's always seemed ridiculous to pay for fitness advice. I know me, though, my core and flexibility suck for a reason - I hate working on them so I don't work on them. That means without help, I'm going to stay right where I am - weak and inflexible. 

Enter Manny, gym manager and personal trainer. I often see him working with clients on flexibility and core strength. The guy is an absolute hoot and I enjoy talking to him. If anything, I figured he'd make me hate it all a little less. I'm willing to pay for that. 

When I broached the subject, his eyes lit up and I could see the wheels turning in his head. 

"You know what you could do, Stacee?!" he said excitedly. 

Before he could get the word out, I stopped him. You see, Manny is also a yoga instructor.

"No, oh no. Nope. No way."

"What?"

"I know what you're about to say. Yoga. I don't do yoga."

"But it's exactly what you need." 

He went on to tell me about his initial skepticism and the PE class he took at Austin Community College. 

I went on to tell him about my utter disdain of yoga and how it was off the table. 

"But..."

"Ok... you can call it anything, but yoga and I'll do it. Say the word even once and I'm gone."

Thus Manny and I reached a compromise. We'll work together to increase my flexibility and core strength and he won't call it yoga. Or use any yoga-esque terminology. I'm going to have to add that into our deal. 

~

To my yoga fanatic friends (and I have several), it's nothing personal. I admit yoga is a wonderful part of your fitness routine. Just as I'm sure you admit that running is a wonderful part of mine. Likewise, just as you won't be be caught dead in running shoes on a track or trail, I won't be caught dead sweating my ass off in yoga pants doing a downward dog in  a hot yoga class. Different strokes for different folks.