Reality - I Think I'll Like It

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I'm mostly worried about reality. 'Worried' may not be the correct word, but I'm certainly not looking forward to it. In two days I'll get on a plane and return to my life, my real life - the one with school, work, a sore elbow, dogs that need walking, alarms that need setting and bills that need paying. I like that life, I do. Well, sort of. Let me explain. Part of it I like because I really like it. The other part I like because I have no choice but to like it. It goes back to what my mom said once upon a time (in reference to snow in Michigan). 'You can either like it or like it.' Hmmm... I guess I'll like it.

This break has been good. And bad. I've spent time with family, hung out with friends, watched some fabulous tennis, gotten sun burnt, and managed to forget most of my life back home. I think I can honestly say (sorry to my friends, co-workers, and classmates in Austin) that if given the choice I would never go back. Not to any of it. Not even for my racket bag and tennis shoes. Those someone could send to me.

Don't get me wrong, I haven't fallen in love with Palm Springs or San Diego; I don't want to stay here. Per se. I'm trying to put my finger on the feeling. Near as I can figure, I don't want to be anywhere. For long. 'Long' means reality and I'm pretty sure I'd like to avoid it at all costs. I think I'd rather travel, float, and live out of my suitcase awhile longer. Maybe hold up in a hotel room somewhere and write. Or read. Or sleep. Or find someplace scenic to run. Or chase after the women's tennis tour for a few more stops. Get sun burnt all over again.

If money was no object, that's exactly what I'd do. I'd meander a bit, lose the goal-directedness people seem to like about me and have come to expect of me, and avoid any sort of reality for as long as possible. I'd be right where I wanted to be with the only person I ever want to be with - Me - doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it.

Unfortunately, that kind of freedom isn't free and I'm broke.

Damn the luck. So here I am, with two days to go before reality sets back in. And I've got no choice but to like it. I guess I shouldn't complain too much. After all,  'Reality' led me to here - this place - an amazing Spring Break complete with three days of tennis at Indian Wells and pictures on my iPhone to prove it.  I suppose this is it's own kind of reality, just not one that seems very real. Or long-lasting.

For some reason, I'm procrastinating going to bed tonight. Eight hours of sleep will bring me that much closer to reality. The real one, I mean; the one with work, school, bills, deadlines, out of control hair, and niggling overuse injuries; the one I like because I have to, because it just makes life easier if I do. 

The good news is that when I get back, it'll sink in and I'll sink in. Reality will simply be what is, like it or like it. And I think I'll like it.

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