Where the Comfort Zone Ends
I promise it's purely coincidental. On my day off, I run and then I go to my favorite coffee place and write. Lately, the running and the writing have merged which is why you've been plagued by a series of blogs about running. And life. I like to think I bring it all back around in the end to something everyone can relate to. Well, living people anyway. People who refuse to live? Nothing I can do for them. Not. A. Damn. Thing.
Today I had a run that defies explanation. Great, you say? That means no blog! Not so fast. I may not know exactly how I'm going to do it, tell it, write it, but there'll be a blog. Sit back and watch.
~~
I won't say it was all a mind thing. I took an off-day yesterday and ate pizza for dinner, so in theory, I was better rested and better fed. Rest and food are two very important variables, but I really, really, really think my brain had as much to do with it as any physical preparation. I started my morning (Get ready to say "Here we go again...") with a protein bar, coffee, and a chapter of the book that has become my portable life and running guru, Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor (Weren't we just here a week ago...?). Last week I had an epiphany while running because I actually brought my brain along, something I can't recall ever doing. Well, at least not in a positive way. This week I was determined to make my brain a key player, if not the key player. In a positive way.
We all have a comfort zone. We started honing it the moment we emerged from the womb. When we moved even an inch outside it as an infant, we cried and Mom came to our rescue. She fed us, burped us, changed our diaper, or simply held us. Miraculously, we wound up back in our comfort zone and we haven't stopped pursuing it since. It's an easy equation, isn't it? Comfort keeps us alive. Warmth, sated hunger, safety, companionship, etc. We strive toward these things - these needs - because they keep anxiety and stress at bay. In other words, they ensure our comfort. And when we are comfortable, there's nothing we can't accomplish.
Eh... I'm not so sure. I absolutely believe that we become successful - at life, business, parenting, art, running, at being human - only when we dare to step outside our comfort zone. I'm not saying we have to do the business or personal equivalent of sky diving or snake charming, but, man, we gotta dangle our legs over the edge at least a little. That's when progress happens. That's when we become truly alive.
My goal this morning (We're back to running, by the way) had nothing to do with pace or heart rate, my usual indicators of a "good run". Instead, I chose to focus exclusively on my comfort zone. It's no secret that I spent the majority of my life with an affection for running that vacillated between semi-tolerance and abject hatred. 99.9% of that disdain had to do my comfort zone. Specifically, the icky feeling that happens to all of us when we step even an inch over the line and experience discomfort. It's awful and different and difficult and failure seems right around the corner. In running, leaving my comfort zone always meant pain, suffering, and doubt. How long can I hold this pace? If I don't, I'll lose. I'll fail. The moment I left my comfort zone, my mind went to a negative place. Discomfort = Bad. Comfort = Good. It's something I was never able to conquer.
Until today. My only goal was to find where my comfort zone ended, think positively, push just a little beyond, and hang on. The key ingredient? Think positively. A little something I re-read this morning planted the perfect seed.
"I realized a good attitude went far beyond the general idea of staying positive. It was part of a discipline, a long-cultivated habit of building and sustaining a positive mind capable of turning every experience into fuel." (Kastor, p. 3)
Isn't that what I'd been doing for the last four-plus years? Finding and accentuating the positive? Disengaging from the negative and working daily, sometimes minute-by-minute, to think, live, and be happy? In those four years, I rose to heights I never imagined, to a happiness and contentment I never thought possible. If I could do that with my life in general, why couldn't I do it with running? What if all that positivity could cross over into every aspect of my life?
So, this morning, rather than fearing and dreading the discomfort, I ran toward it, pushed myself until I felt comfort slip away. Funny. I wasn't scared. As I dangled my legs over the edge, I realized that running is exactly like life. As I became happier and more positive, I was able to confidently push the limits of my personal comfort zone - traveling alone, finishing graduate school, publishing my novels, pursuing connection with others. As I ran, I watched my Garmin count the miles. I focused only on the trail ahead of me and the sound and feel of gravel crunching underfoot and my rhythmic breathing. I let the music from my headphones envelop me. The warm, humid conditions ceased to be a factor. I found a kind of flow, a fluidity of pace, form, and contentment. It wasn't exactly as Cziksenmihalyi defined the concept, nor was it a "runner's high", but it was as close as I have come in decades.
The proof is always in the pudding, isn't it? So how did the run go, in the traditional sense? I ran 11.1 miles at 8:32/mile pace. Admittedly, I got out to a slow start, averaging just under 9:00 pace for the first three miles. Once I was able to push past my comfort zone, my pace improved monumentally. I ran the last 8 miles at 8:25 pace. Granted it's not super fast - I've run entire half marathons a full 30 seconds per mile faster - but it's a start. Plus it's summer and even if the conditions didn't consciously bother me, they still screwed with by body. I'll do it all again next week and the next. If I keep this up - if I stay positive - there's no telling how fast I'll be running by February.
One last quote from my pre-run re-reading -
"...I realized that we have it within us, no matter our passion or career, to build a better stage for success. Building a positive mind gives any pursuit surprising ease, lifting one to unimaginable heights." (Kastor, p.4)
Right?!? I'm living and breathing evidence. The happier I am, the more positive I live, the more I achieve. Near the end of the book Kastor contemplates how much more optimistic she can become, how much more she can grow. It's a helluva cross-roads, if you think about it. To actually ponder happiness as a tool to create growth and self-mastery? Damn. Like, seriously, damn. I feel like I've discovered something supremely powerful. The possibilities for my life (and my running) have become endless, infinite. And all I have to do is live fearlessly enough to get out of my own way and be willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
It's where all the good stuff happens. Where life begins. On the other side of fear. Fueled by positivity. If I can pass along any advice, push your limits. Find that place of physical, emotional, or spiritual discomfort and go there. Go. There.
Then go there again and watch what happens.
Today I had a run that defies explanation. Great, you say? That means no blog! Not so fast. I may not know exactly how I'm going to do it, tell it, write it, but there'll be a blog. Sit back and watch.
~~
I won't say it was all a mind thing. I took an off-day yesterday and ate pizza for dinner, so in theory, I was better rested and better fed. Rest and food are two very important variables, but I really, really, really think my brain had as much to do with it as any physical preparation. I started my morning (Get ready to say "Here we go again...") with a protein bar, coffee, and a chapter of the book that has become my portable life and running guru, Let Your Mind Run by Deena Kastor (Weren't we just here a week ago...?). Last week I had an epiphany while running because I actually brought my brain along, something I can't recall ever doing. Well, at least not in a positive way. This week I was determined to make my brain a key player, if not the key player. In a positive way.
We all have a comfort zone. We started honing it the moment we emerged from the womb. When we moved even an inch outside it as an infant, we cried and Mom came to our rescue. She fed us, burped us, changed our diaper, or simply held us. Miraculously, we wound up back in our comfort zone and we haven't stopped pursuing it since. It's an easy equation, isn't it? Comfort keeps us alive. Warmth, sated hunger, safety, companionship, etc. We strive toward these things - these needs - because they keep anxiety and stress at bay. In other words, they ensure our comfort. And when we are comfortable, there's nothing we can't accomplish.
Eh... I'm not so sure. I absolutely believe that we become successful - at life, business, parenting, art, running, at being human - only when we dare to step outside our comfort zone. I'm not saying we have to do the business or personal equivalent of sky diving or snake charming, but, man, we gotta dangle our legs over the edge at least a little. That's when progress happens. That's when we become truly alive.
My goal this morning (We're back to running, by the way) had nothing to do with pace or heart rate, my usual indicators of a "good run". Instead, I chose to focus exclusively on my comfort zone. It's no secret that I spent the majority of my life with an affection for running that vacillated between semi-tolerance and abject hatred. 99.9% of that disdain had to do my comfort zone. Specifically, the icky feeling that happens to all of us when we step even an inch over the line and experience discomfort. It's awful and different and difficult and failure seems right around the corner. In running, leaving my comfort zone always meant pain, suffering, and doubt. How long can I hold this pace? If I don't, I'll lose. I'll fail. The moment I left my comfort zone, my mind went to a negative place. Discomfort = Bad. Comfort = Good. It's something I was never able to conquer.
Until today. My only goal was to find where my comfort zone ended, think positively, push just a little beyond, and hang on. The key ingredient? Think positively. A little something I re-read this morning planted the perfect seed.
"I realized a good attitude went far beyond the general idea of staying positive. It was part of a discipline, a long-cultivated habit of building and sustaining a positive mind capable of turning every experience into fuel." (Kastor, p. 3)
Isn't that what I'd been doing for the last four-plus years? Finding and accentuating the positive? Disengaging from the negative and working daily, sometimes minute-by-minute, to think, live, and be happy? In those four years, I rose to heights I never imagined, to a happiness and contentment I never thought possible. If I could do that with my life in general, why couldn't I do it with running? What if all that positivity could cross over into every aspect of my life?
So, this morning, rather than fearing and dreading the discomfort, I ran toward it, pushed myself until I felt comfort slip away. Funny. I wasn't scared. As I dangled my legs over the edge, I realized that running is exactly like life. As I became happier and more positive, I was able to confidently push the limits of my personal comfort zone - traveling alone, finishing graduate school, publishing my novels, pursuing connection with others. As I ran, I watched my Garmin count the miles. I focused only on the trail ahead of me and the sound and feel of gravel crunching underfoot and my rhythmic breathing. I let the music from my headphones envelop me. The warm, humid conditions ceased to be a factor. I found a kind of flow, a fluidity of pace, form, and contentment. It wasn't exactly as Cziksenmihalyi defined the concept, nor was it a "runner's high", but it was as close as I have come in decades.
The proof is always in the pudding, isn't it? So how did the run go, in the traditional sense? I ran 11.1 miles at 8:32/mile pace. Admittedly, I got out to a slow start, averaging just under 9:00 pace for the first three miles. Once I was able to push past my comfort zone, my pace improved monumentally. I ran the last 8 miles at 8:25 pace. Granted it's not super fast - I've run entire half marathons a full 30 seconds per mile faster - but it's a start. Plus it's summer and even if the conditions didn't consciously bother me, they still screwed with by body. I'll do it all again next week and the next. If I keep this up - if I stay positive - there's no telling how fast I'll be running by February.
One last quote from my pre-run re-reading -
"...I realized that we have it within us, no matter our passion or career, to build a better stage for success. Building a positive mind gives any pursuit surprising ease, lifting one to unimaginable heights." (Kastor, p.4)
Right?!? I'm living and breathing evidence. The happier I am, the more positive I live, the more I achieve. Near the end of the book Kastor contemplates how much more optimistic she can become, how much more she can grow. It's a helluva cross-roads, if you think about it. To actually ponder happiness as a tool to create growth and self-mastery? Damn. Like, seriously, damn. I feel like I've discovered something supremely powerful. The possibilities for my life (and my running) have become endless, infinite. And all I have to do is live fearlessly enough to get out of my own way and be willing to step outside of my comfort zone.
It's where all the good stuff happens. Where life begins. On the other side of fear. Fueled by positivity. If I can pass along any advice, push your limits. Find that place of physical, emotional, or spiritual discomfort and go there. Go. There.
Then go there again and watch what happens.
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