Pandora's Box

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Back in 1990-something, a hot, straight-ish, female co-worker announced one morning that she'd sung "Jesse's Girl" by Rick Springfield at karaoke the night before. She'd been drunk, done it on a dare, blah, blah. My mind reeled and I'm pretty sure I stopped listening. When she left the room, I turned to my (lesbian) co-worker (whose expression probably looked a lot like mine) and said (perhaps inappropriately), "How much would you pay to see that?" We both agreed that we'd pay a lot. Like A LOT a lot. We never offered (for obvious reasons) and she (sadly? thankfully?) never invited us to karaoke. 

That day, in that moment, Pandora's Box opened. It's not quite Bucket List worthy, so call it a life goal. Since then, I've dreamed (on and off - it's not like I've spent years on it) of seeing a beautiful, hot (yes, I'm well aware that I'm shallow), straight-ish (or straight) woman sing "Jesse's Girl" at karaoke or in concert, a Capella even. I seriously don't care where or how, only that she does it and I'm there to see it.

Yes, it's the lesbian undercurrent that entices me. Duh. A woman singing about wanting another woman? Much less a guy's girlfriend? If I had a wheelhouse...

"Jesse is a friend, yeah
I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define
Jesse's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine..."

Songs sung by women rarely say all that. Further dream/life goal - a woman singing from Eric Church's discography. Let's go with "Wrecking Ball" and "Springsteen". If she could also do Chris Stapleton "Parachute", Brad Paisley "Perfect Storm", Brett Young "In Case You Didn't Know." Really any song sung by a male artist about love (or lust) for a woman.

Aren't there a bunch of lesbian artists that sing about women? Sorta. Melissa Etheridge spent too much of her career appealing to the mainstream to be too blatant about it and the Indigo Girls, Chris Pureka, Melissa Ferrick, and the like are too folksy and, well....gay. I know I'm walking a fine line and I've (yet again) put my lesbian card in danger of revocation, but I'm looking for a woman with more universal appeal (that probably says more about my "type" than I care to admit). Anywho, I digress. 

So, this morning, I was listening to Pandora as I often do. I have an Air Supply station (well aware - nerd alert) that I've been customizing for a couple years. It's a nice mix that I often use as background music as I write. Don't hate - It meshes well with the lesbian romance drivel that I spend most of my time on. I listen to it so often that it automatically comes on when I open Pandora. Today was no different, even though I was working on a fitness blog and not thinking about lesbian anything (I'm being serious). 

[At this juncture, it might be important to state that I spent Christmas weekend watching "Pitch Perfect" and "Pitch Perfect 2". As a rule, I dislike musicals ("Glee" = nails on a chalkboard), but I (apparently) like Anna Kendrick. More on that in a second...]

Back to this morning... Moments after opening, Pandora, in its infinite wisdom of my musical tastes, played "Jesse's Girl". And suddenly out of (next to) nowhere, I wanted to watch Anna Kendrick sing it. Wha? Anna Kendrick? Yes, Anna Kendrick. I'm certain she could pull it off just about as well as I have always imagined my hot, straight-ish co-worker did all those years ago. She's got universal appeal and she's...well...yeah... I'll just leave it respectfully right there. 

Pandora's Box open, cheesy 80s songs sung by hot, millennial actresses everywhere. 


~ Ok, ok, so it's not all Pandora's fault. My imagination opened the box, as it often does. Don't believe me? Read back through my oeuvre of blogs then check out my fiction, the lesbian romance drivel I mentioned above. ~


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