Somewhere In Time
It's been nearly fifteen years. For some reason, October sticks in my mind. Even though I knew the instant I saw her that my life had changed, that I would never be the same again, I didn't take note of the date. I wish I had.
You see, that was the day I experienced what I thought I would never experience. I thought it was the thing of fairy tales and romance novels and complete bullshit. Then I saw her and I knew. Love at first sight happens. It actually happens because it happened to me.
I've written around our story many times - some say too many times - so I feel like it's common knowledge. It took months to work up the courage to speak to her, but merely an instant to fall in love with her. I can still see that moment as clearly as if it had just happened last night.
There are those who will read this and insist that I am still in love with her. I can assure you, I'm not and I haven't been for quite some time now. That was a tough one for me - the falling out of love. I'm sure it took far longer than it should have. Some say I should have hated her; some say I still should. And yet...I never have and never will.
In the intervening years, I've grown and changed. She's grown and changed. We've grown and changed. Our love has grown and changed, assuredly in ways we never would have imaged. However, I believe we love each other more now, more freely, more intensely than we ever have. Sometimes it's better to love than to be in love.
In many ways, she has been in every breath I have taken since that first moment, in every beat of my heart. She is The One, was The One, will always be The One. I used to think I had to be with her (it's probably why the falling out of love took so damn long). After all, aren't we supposed to be with The One?
Time has a way of bringing perspective. I was with The One and that's a lot more than most people have the courage to experience. And it does take courage to risk everything - every part of your body, mind, and soul - to have (even for the shortest moment) everything. I did that. She did that. We did that.
Somewhere in time, we are still those girls, far more innocent and far more daring than the women we are today. Somewhere in time Sarah still plays in the background. Somewhere in time, I am still in love with her and she is still in love with me.
And that's good enough for me. So much more than good enough, really. I like who we are today, nearly fifteen years later - friends who have come through a bit of heaven and hell together, friends who share an abiding trust, friends who will always love each other unconditionally.
Sometimes it's better to love than to be in love...
You see, that was the day I experienced what I thought I would never experience. I thought it was the thing of fairy tales and romance novels and complete bullshit. Then I saw her and I knew. Love at first sight happens. It actually happens because it happened to me.
I've written around our story many times - some say too many times - so I feel like it's common knowledge. It took months to work up the courage to speak to her, but merely an instant to fall in love with her. I can still see that moment as clearly as if it had just happened last night.
There are those who will read this and insist that I am still in love with her. I can assure you, I'm not and I haven't been for quite some time now. That was a tough one for me - the falling out of love. I'm sure it took far longer than it should have. Some say I should have hated her; some say I still should. And yet...I never have and never will.
In the intervening years, I've grown and changed. She's grown and changed. We've grown and changed. Our love has grown and changed, assuredly in ways we never would have imaged. However, I believe we love each other more now, more freely, more intensely than we ever have. Sometimes it's better to love than to be in love.
In many ways, she has been in every breath I have taken since that first moment, in every beat of my heart. She is The One, was The One, will always be The One. I used to think I had to be with her (it's probably why the falling out of love took so damn long). After all, aren't we supposed to be with The One?
Time has a way of bringing perspective. I was with The One and that's a lot more than most people have the courage to experience. And it does take courage to risk everything - every part of your body, mind, and soul - to have (even for the shortest moment) everything. I did that. She did that. We did that.
Somewhere in time, we are still those girls, far more innocent and far more daring than the women we are today. Somewhere in time Sarah still plays in the background. Somewhere in time, I am still in love with her and she is still in love with me.
And that's good enough for me. So much more than good enough, really. I like who we are today, nearly fifteen years later - friends who have come through a bit of heaven and hell together, friends who share an abiding trust, friends who will always love each other unconditionally.
Sometimes it's better to love than to be in love...
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