Because I Can
I've decided that I have an answer for the oft asked question (paraphrased here) - Why am I going to Sweden? Ready? It's not earth-shattering. Not really, I guess. Maybe to some it will be. Those whose lives are so filled with purpose that they've become swollen, lethargic, and unimaginative won't get it any more than those who don't actually, well, live at all.
In the few short months since my grand announcement (read my blog "Sweden or Bust 2017" for details), I've grown tired trying to explain something I can barely explain to myself to people who live their lives as if it was a paint-by-number. Blue here. Brown here. Yellow there. Stay in the lines. Don't improvise. Look, all of our paintings look the same, just like they're supposed to.
News flash... They're not supposed to look the same.
The past week has brought a few welcome realizations.
1. A friend posted something to her Facebook today. It was a Word Porn meme that I'd seen before. It said, in courier typeset, "There's no way I was born to just pay bills and die." I guess that sums it all up for me. I refuse to be a cog in the machine. I refuse to be trapped by all that I should be. My rebellion can be found in my "useless" Masters' degree, an unpublished novel, my silly-string elbow, and an e-ticket from Austin to Copenhagen dated March 27, 2017.
2. The other day I took a delivery to a customer. When I arrived at his job site, I saw a Swedish flag flying. I'm usually reticent to start conversations with strangers (especially strangers who are pissed we shorted their early morning delivery thus requiring my presence at his job site), but I thew caution to the wind. I said, "Hey, that's a Swedish flag" which led quickly to my confession that I was planning a trip there next Spring. My customer, a Swede, looked at me a bit funny when I said I didn't know anyone there, not family, not friends until I simply told him I'd always wanted to go. At which point, he smiled and told me I'd love Goteborg, but I'd fall in love with Stockholm. He also warned me that my first visit to Scandinavia may not be my last. As we talked, I think Henrik (that's the guy's name) got it. He understood that someone could be enamored of his homeland from a far and want to visit. For no apparently good and concrete reason other than a desire to go.
3. Last week, I emailed my mom the details of my trip that I've set up thus far, links to hotels, sights, etc. She replied that if she was twenty years younger she would "beat me to the plane". The reality is that one day I'll be eighty-one years old. One day, for reasons of health or finance or unforeseen circumstance, I won't be able to venture out on my own to a place I've never been. One day I'll be my mom. My mom may be envious of my trip, but I know she isn't surprised. She raised my sister and I to have the lives her generation couldn't; she raised us to do things because we can.
And that brings me back around to the great "Why" question. I don't think the answer needs to be anything specific or important. I don't have to be going there to pick up a Volvo (though I still think that would be cool) or to oogle tall, blond, blue eyed women. My reason can be simple, like me.
Drum roll.........
I'm going to Sweden because I can. "Drive a Volvo in Sweden" is on my Bucket List and I'm going to check it off. What's more, I'm going alone because, for better or worse, alone is my favorite state of being.
Not your cup of tea? Not in your comfort zone? You'd rather go to Scotland? That's all fine. I'm not asking anyone to live my life anymore than I desire to live theirs.
I do have one thing I would like to encourage every one to think about - Do more than pay bills and die. Create, travel, move, stay, love, try, do, LIVE. Before it's too late.
In the few short months since my grand announcement (read my blog "Sweden or Bust 2017" for details), I've grown tired trying to explain something I can barely explain to myself to people who live their lives as if it was a paint-by-number. Blue here. Brown here. Yellow there. Stay in the lines. Don't improvise. Look, all of our paintings look the same, just like they're supposed to.
News flash... They're not supposed to look the same.
The past week has brought a few welcome realizations.
1. A friend posted something to her Facebook today. It was a Word Porn meme that I'd seen before. It said, in courier typeset, "There's no way I was born to just pay bills and die." I guess that sums it all up for me. I refuse to be a cog in the machine. I refuse to be trapped by all that I should be. My rebellion can be found in my "useless" Masters' degree, an unpublished novel, my silly-string elbow, and an e-ticket from Austin to Copenhagen dated March 27, 2017.
2. The other day I took a delivery to a customer. When I arrived at his job site, I saw a Swedish flag flying. I'm usually reticent to start conversations with strangers (especially strangers who are pissed we shorted their early morning delivery thus requiring my presence at his job site), but I thew caution to the wind. I said, "Hey, that's a Swedish flag" which led quickly to my confession that I was planning a trip there next Spring. My customer, a Swede, looked at me a bit funny when I said I didn't know anyone there, not family, not friends until I simply told him I'd always wanted to go. At which point, he smiled and told me I'd love Goteborg, but I'd fall in love with Stockholm. He also warned me that my first visit to Scandinavia may not be my last. As we talked, I think Henrik (that's the guy's name) got it. He understood that someone could be enamored of his homeland from a far and want to visit. For no apparently good and concrete reason other than a desire to go.
3. Last week, I emailed my mom the details of my trip that I've set up thus far, links to hotels, sights, etc. She replied that if she was twenty years younger she would "beat me to the plane". The reality is that one day I'll be eighty-one years old. One day, for reasons of health or finance or unforeseen circumstance, I won't be able to venture out on my own to a place I've never been. One day I'll be my mom. My mom may be envious of my trip, but I know she isn't surprised. She raised my sister and I to have the lives her generation couldn't; she raised us to do things because we can.
And that brings me back around to the great "Why" question. I don't think the answer needs to be anything specific or important. I don't have to be going there to pick up a Volvo (though I still think that would be cool) or to oogle tall, blond, blue eyed women. My reason can be simple, like me.
Drum roll.........
I'm going to Sweden because I can. "Drive a Volvo in Sweden" is on my Bucket List and I'm going to check it off. What's more, I'm going alone because, for better or worse, alone is my favorite state of being.
Not your cup of tea? Not in your comfort zone? You'd rather go to Scotland? That's all fine. I'm not asking anyone to live my life anymore than I desire to live theirs.
I do have one thing I would like to encourage every one to think about - Do more than pay bills and die. Create, travel, move, stay, love, try, do, LIVE. Before it's too late.
I read that quote to mean 'There's no fucking way I was born to pay bills and die'. I've been to lots of places and I've seen a LOT of things but I am THIS close to accomplishing some big personal goals this year, lots and lots of firsts. My first hard earned commission check, paying back people who generously held me up when I could barely stand, helping my SON (he's 19!!!) get his first apartment within walking distance from me, being able to plan a trip to somewhere we've never been. I see the world opening and though I have my days, there is no way in hell I was born to JUST pay bills and die.
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