Notes from the Red Bird House

Silence. Today it's been my friend. I don't know what to think much less what to say. I'm done for now and just want to be insulated. I don't want to explain or have it explained to me. More than anything, I guess, I don't want to hear it. It? Yeah, it. I don't what 'it' is but I know for a fact that I don't want to know anything about it. Truthfully, I needed today to be about nothing. Not reality, not surreality, not the past, present, or future. I knew the only thing I could tolerate today would be silence, a deep, dark, still silence. I needed a day in between, a day for me, a day away. In a few hours, today will end and I'll fall into what I hope is a dreamless, quiet sleep. Right now, I'm wishing for another silent day tomorrow. I don't think I'll get it. Sooner or later, I'll have to re-enter the world and re-join the noise. I'll have to hear about it, whatever 'it' is. I'll have to face the past, the...

And just like that, the soul cracks and in comes the bright light of day. For a jumbled moment, past becomes present becomes future becomes surreal becomes something I don't want to think about. Long ago, for days upon days and months upon months, that something was all there was. Each breath brought another thought, another sadness. Then one fine, mysterious day, there was silence, peace, and a welcome darkness. Life went on and my soul healed. Then with one sentence, I was shaken, roused from a deep sleep. A nightmare maybe? A dream come true? No, just one of those weird dreams that you can't quite remember and can't quite forget. Like the time I woke up with Jodie Foster's cat. Or the time a UFO sucked me out of the cockpit of an F-14. It can't be happening. Yes, it can. No, really, it can't. No, really, it can. And can't. All at the same time. Seal the crack, welcome the darkness, shut out the surreal light of day. Remember to forget or forget to r...