Notes from the Red Bird House

I'm living in a place I never thought I'd live. Las Vegas, Nevada. I recall being asked when I announced I was moving, if people actually live in Vegas. I've known this as fact all my life - My sister has always lived and worked here; she raised a family here. For the uninitiated, though, Las Vegas is Sin City, a place best sampled in small doses, where what happens stays and where money is lost in prodigious amounts. Surely, no one actually lives there. I am here to tell you that lots of people live here and, moreover, lots of people love living here.  This may come as a shock to my friends - especially to the ones in Austin who remain in denial that I've moved and like to say that I'm merely on a long vacation, and most especially to my long-term friends who have heard me bemoan over and over (and over again) that no place ever feels like home (except Sweden) - but here goes the grand statement. I like it here. A lot. And in many ways it feels like home.  ...

I like it here. Quite a bit actually. It's fine. I tolerate the dry heat. I enjoy my new co-workers. I'm close to my dad and sister. My apartment is better than decent. I just.....and I know this next statement may result in a shit storm of....I don't know... Empathy? Sympathy? Well wishes? Give it times? Hang in theres? I don't desire any of it. I am simply going to state a fact. Or maybe it's an opinion. A feeling? Maybe that's closer to the mark. Regardless, it feels like a fact. At least to me...and let's be honest, in this case, I'm the only "me" that counts. Ok, anywho....the thing is for as much as I like it here, I just....well...I just don't feel like me. I'll add "yet" because that tends to soften the blow...for others. I couldn't give a sh** about softening anything. It is what it is and right now in this very moment, I simply don't feel like me. Perhaps "me" is a geographical thing. I feel diffe...