The One About Wonder Woman and My Lesbian Card
Seriously, this time they're going to take my Lesbian Card. I nearly lost it a decade ago when I expressed an utter disdain for "The L Word". I redeemed myself on that one when Jenny Schecter became annoying to everyone, Betty's theme song grated, and a convention of Shane wanna-bes began showing up at lesbian bars around the country. "Yeah, you know," the Lesbo Powers-That-Be said, "Stacee's been kind of right all along. Let's give her a pass." So, yep, I still have my Lesbian Card. For now. That's fixin' to change here in a hot minute when I post this blog. You see, I'm taking on "Wonder Woman" (the movie, not Gal Gadot or Lynda Carter, though meeting them for coffee could be fun). I'm about to engage in Lesbian Blasphemy at its best, my friends. I'm not going to come away clean. And not surprisingly, it doesn't bother me in the least.
Women, in general, LIKE ass-kicking chick flicks. Dykes, on the other hand, LOVE them. Moreover, I would argue that in this new socio-political economy, with Hilary's star waning and womens' and LGBTQ rights on the chopping block, women NEED ass-kicking chick flicks. We need women who stand, who don't need rescuing, who speak their minds. We - all women, not just our daughters - need role models. Fierce, unapologetic, women who dare to say "Come and Take It". We need a reboot of GI Jane, Maverick in the remake of Top Gun to be a bad-ass female pilot, the new Lara Croft to be more than a gun-toting video game sex symbol. We need heroes and super heroes.
We need Wonder Woman. We do. We need a powerful, lasso swinging, sword toting super hero who has the wherewith all to stand up to a god, no less, and win. We, of course, also need her to be as feminine as she is strong.
That said, I don't have to like the movie. You see, it is actually possible to not like something but believe that it has value. When I said this week that I didn't like "Wonder Woman" people were a bit aghast. Here's the whole story.
First of all, I don't like Super Hero movies. If I have to watch one, I'm going to choose the Marvel Universe every single time, DC Comics, Wonder Woman's creators, take themselves far too seriously. I much prefer my super heroes to be a little more self-deprecating and realize just how ridiculous being a super hero is. I want them to have swagger and cockiness but also be able to laugh heartily at themselves. Marvel's super heroes do this. DC's do not. Superman has a fucking cape and he never wonders about it? Iron Man would have gotten rid of it in the first movie for getting in the way.
Second, I'm a World War 1 history buff. At first I was enthused about movie's use of the time period. No one delves much into WW1, but then I was quickly disappointed. I was ok with making the Bad Guy be a German. It was a bit over the top to portray the German army as sadistic and malevolent (of course only until their leader died). Spoils do go to the victors, apparently even one hundred years later, but having an American saving the day? Such a fucking Ameri-centric bastardization of the war. America entered the war after three years of death and dying on two fronts and the loss of MILLIONS of men on both sides. It wasn't America's fighting prowess or cleverness that helped the Allies end the war. It was the sheer number of men that America could send. Ok, I admit this next point is petty - Wonder Woman taking out a machine gun nest? I have one word - enfilade. Look it up. Could she have handled bullets flying from three directions as was incredibly common (and what made No Man's Land impassable)? Maybe, maybe not, but I would have liked to see her try.
So, yeah. "Wonder Woman" wasn't all that for me. That said, I don't have to like the movie to believe that it has value. I absolutely love that a generation of girls are growing up seeing movies like this. And for my generation, we have lived to see our princesses - Robin Wright as the Princess Bride and Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia - become generals. We have come along way, Baby.
But we aren't quite all the way there. As much as we need Wonder Woman, what we don't need is:
P.S. The movie I want to see is a "Wonder Woman" prequel about the Amazon warriors minus the super hero bullshit, of course, where the only heroes are women and every man is a bad guy. No Chris Pine dropping in to "help". No hetero love story. Just Robin Wright in all her fierce glory and a bunch of other ass-kicking women who rely upon their strength and sisterhood to defeat an enemy. Take that mainstream.
Women, in general, LIKE ass-kicking chick flicks. Dykes, on the other hand, LOVE them. Moreover, I would argue that in this new socio-political economy, with Hilary's star waning and womens' and LGBTQ rights on the chopping block, women NEED ass-kicking chick flicks. We need women who stand, who don't need rescuing, who speak their minds. We - all women, not just our daughters - need role models. Fierce, unapologetic, women who dare to say "Come and Take It". We need a reboot of GI Jane, Maverick in the remake of Top Gun to be a bad-ass female pilot, the new Lara Croft to be more than a gun-toting video game sex symbol. We need heroes and super heroes.
We need Wonder Woman. We do. We need a powerful, lasso swinging, sword toting super hero who has the wherewith all to stand up to a god, no less, and win. We, of course, also need her to be as feminine as she is strong.
That said, I don't have to like the movie. You see, it is actually possible to not like something but believe that it has value. When I said this week that I didn't like "Wonder Woman" people were a bit aghast. Here's the whole story.
First of all, I don't like Super Hero movies. If I have to watch one, I'm going to choose the Marvel Universe every single time, DC Comics, Wonder Woman's creators, take themselves far too seriously. I much prefer my super heroes to be a little more self-deprecating and realize just how ridiculous being a super hero is. I want them to have swagger and cockiness but also be able to laugh heartily at themselves. Marvel's super heroes do this. DC's do not. Superman has a fucking cape and he never wonders about it? Iron Man would have gotten rid of it in the first movie for getting in the way.
Second, I'm a World War 1 history buff. At first I was enthused about movie's use of the time period. No one delves much into WW1, but then I was quickly disappointed. I was ok with making the Bad Guy be a German. It was a bit over the top to portray the German army as sadistic and malevolent (of course only until their leader died). Spoils do go to the victors, apparently even one hundred years later, but having an American saving the day? Such a fucking Ameri-centric bastardization of the war. America entered the war after three years of death and dying on two fronts and the loss of MILLIONS of men on both sides. It wasn't America's fighting prowess or cleverness that helped the Allies end the war. It was the sheer number of men that America could send. Ok, I admit this next point is petty - Wonder Woman taking out a machine gun nest? I have one word - enfilade. Look it up. Could she have handled bullets flying from three directions as was incredibly common (and what made No Man's Land impassable)? Maybe, maybe not, but I would have liked to see her try.
So, yeah. "Wonder Woman" wasn't all that for me. That said, I don't have to like the movie to believe that it has value. I absolutely love that a generation of girls are growing up seeing movies like this. And for my generation, we have lived to see our princesses - Robin Wright as the Princess Bride and Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia - become generals. We have come along way, Baby.
But we aren't quite all the way there. As much as we need Wonder Woman, what we don't need is:
- For her to fall in love and make that love - for the self-sacrificing male hero - change how she sees the world and her place in it. In the end, Wonder Woman was, ever so subtly, saved by a man.
- For her to be ridiculously innocent and naive. And "educated" by a man.
Ok, I'm being ticky-tack, nit-picking. Absolutely. By and large, "Wonder Woman" had all the feminist (and lesbian - other that WW not being an actual lesbian) bells and whistles. In many ways, it was a master piece, however I do have a caution. Be careful of packages wrapped up nice and tidy with big red bows. Their shiny, pretty exteriors can hide a cunningly subtle, nearly subconscious, truth. In the case of "Wonder Woman" I was reminded that the mainstream is still the mainstream. And we can only rock the boat so much.
Bottom line. I didn't like "Wonder Woman". I don't want to see it again when it comes out of BluRay or Netflix. Once was plenty. Call me a blashemer. You won't be the first. I'm used to standing alone, used to having my Lesbian Card threatened. Right now I'm imagining Melissa Etheridge snapping her finger and holding out her hand as if to say "Hand it over, Stacee." I wonder if I get to keep the toaster oven and set of steak knives.
P.S. The movie I want to see is a "Wonder Woman" prequel about the Amazon warriors minus the super hero bullshit, of course, where the only heroes are women and every man is a bad guy. No Chris Pine dropping in to "help". No hetero love story. Just Robin Wright in all her fierce glory and a bunch of other ass-kicking women who rely upon their strength and sisterhood to defeat an enemy. Take that mainstream.
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